It is ok, not to be okay!

Anyone who claims that he has never had a depressive phase is lying to himself. Everyone has struggled with a mental low at some point and that's a good thing because it's human! If you  have a chronic illness in addition, you are likely to go down a dark spiral. Up to this day I would like to thank my doctor who recommended me to visit a psychologist at the age of 9 when I was diagnosed. I don't know if you really need therapy, but it helps a lot because you are forced to deal with yourself. But I know one thing for sure! The psychologist can lead  you on the right  path, but the work, the will to make it out of the spiral, must come from yourself, otherwise  therapy won´t work!

The marathon

One thing I noticed in today's society: Many more people go on a marathon, hopping from psychologist to psychologist and if it doesn't work right away, it is easy to blame the psychologist and the marathon continues. In the past, people didn't run into doctors´offices. How so? people used to talk to  friends or family for hours, they were the personal therapists. It was a give and take. Deep friendships in which one advised the other without prejudice and without judgment. Everything is superficial these days. You only show yourself from your best side and when having bad days,  you put on a mask or hide at home for days, out of fear of being excluded because you don't work as you are supposed to. In general, everything was considered for a long time in the past. Marriages, for example: How many fail today after their first argument, instead of working together on the problem. One word: COMFORT!

It's okay not to be okay!

Oily hair, skipping brushing teeth, lying in bed for hours staring at the wall, lying to friends and refusing, even though you have nothing to do and, last but not least, the cherry on top: listening to  the saddest song on your playlist, voilà, the drama is complete! Yes, that's my reality and maybe yours too. It's okay to indulge in sadness and listen to your feelings . But it is just as important to kick your ass in time and keep on going. Everyone has these , but the important thing is to get up afterwards and come back stronger. That's easier said, than done. After a while i am disgusted by my own self-pity and the will to get my life under control comes up. 

If it's blue in the sky, there is no blue in the brain!

In return:  If there is no sunny, beautiful sky outside, it is blue, the fog, in the head! Our mood is strongly related to the weather. This is due to the vitamin D and the happiness hormone melatonin. But especially in Germany and other countries, you can wait for a long time until the sky is blue again! We cannot rely on others. Neither on psychologists, nor on the weather god. You! You alone are responsible for your luck!

Motivation is a sure-fire success

All of this is easier said than done! But motivation is a sure-fire success, like a bike: at the beginning you have to pedal hard, but once it runs, small incentives are enough to keep it going. Start small! Here are a few examples that help me:

• Get up early so that you have a daily rhythm and are not awake until late at night
• Take a shower, I've never regretted it (best with music (karaoke time))
• Set a timer e.g. 5 min. and clean up a little thing e.g. the table. After that, you usually feel like cleaning up another thing.
• Divide the work into small portions
• Don't be too hard on yourself if it doesn't work out right away
• Reward yourself
• Listen to motivational speeches on Youtube
• meet with friends, if only for an hour, the conversations prevent your spirals from spiraling
• Count down from 5, mostly the countdown helps to trigger a stimulus

Ask yourself why? Why do you want to get out of depression?  If the why? is  strong enough, success is guaranteed.