You are not a burden!
I didn't really intended to comment on the New York Times article titled: "Is it ok to dump him because of his medical condition?" , which deals with the topic"Dating" and responds to a reader's letter and tries to assess the extent to which it is okay to dumb someone due to his medical condition, since he is a "burden".I mean by no means it is up to you whether you can deal with someone's disability. However, the inconsiderate , hurtful and unconcerned matter didn´t do the justice which should have been done: A informativ , educational , serious and empathic article is what the world needed. Skimming the first paragraph already gave me the intention, that the author doesn't have much knowledge on the topic and has no emotional connection. One is left behind with the bitter aftertaste of inferiority and the confirmation that his fellow human beings regard him as a burden. Especially nowadays, people get their diagnose at a young age which makes dating difficult taboo subject anyway. The question is whether the world needed such an article or whether this letter to the editor could not have been taken as an occasion to educate informatively about dating with chr. diseases and eliminate prejudices.
Are people with chr. Diseases a burden?
Of course, the disease affects relationships, friendship and love related relations, but nevertheless, everything has an impact on relationships. Both cultural discrepancies and character traits such as jealousy or infidelity, will have an impact sooner or later. How ridiculous does it sound not to get together with someone, you actually like, because they may have a lower life expectancy? Instead, you take someone without previous illness. But what makes you sure that they won't get cancer or die at a car accident in a year? Sure, you have to adjust leisure activities or eating habits, but nobody forces you to eat what I eat and most of people coping with their disease insist on their independence.
No, you don't have to cook especially for me, I can do it myself and we can eat together!
No, I can take care of my stoma myself!
No, you don't have to stay at home with me when I'm in pain, I can take care of myself and take a shower without help!
Protests with the slogan "Black matters" against racism after the incident with George Floyd have been made not long ago. Of course, I don't want to deny its severity, but I'm tired of having to deal with such topics at all. Sorry , it´s 2020: Do I really have to fight for .....
- being able to love regardless of gender
- being independent regardless of gender
- being seen as equivalent, regardless of my mental, psychological or physical condition
- being able to choose a career regardless of my religious background or gender
These are all examples of racism! According to the definition .....
R A C I S M . . .
.... is when people are treated unfairly or intolerantly, are humiliated, insulted, threatened or endangered in life and limb due to one of the following characteristics: - certain physical characteristics (such as skin color, appearance, disability etc.) - ethnic origin or Citizenship - certain cultural characteristics
Don't get me wrong, I think it's important to draw attention to minorities by showing regret and cohesion. But posting black pictures for one day of 365 or protesting for 4 weeks is like trying to extinguish a forest fire in the rainforest with water and then advertising Nestle products first. Oops, we' have already been doing this stuff . In the long term, it would be smarter to finally take a look at oneself and meet people without prejudice. Live and let live! People can love who they want to. People with disabilities, whether visible or not, are capable of more than you think. People , no matter what color, are also children of God and have dignity.